nine ball flash
the nine ball flash caption competition
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Giving away prizes is fun. Here's the new thingy.

I found this very difficult to judge. About 92% of all the captions given made me laugh and all deserve credit. I finally just picked some of my favorites randomly. The winners are:

First prize -

"Before They Were Famous No. 117: Boyzone" - Mike W.

And he wins a limited edition Tod Smith Products Beer Mug (custom made by luke burrage)

Second prize -

"The crack team of elite mimes finally managed to gain the respect of the jugglers with their previously unseen "Pissing against the wind" act." - Ewano

And he wins a set of 5 chainmail juggling "beanbags" (custom made by luke burrage)

Third prize -

"NASA releases shocking new Hubble photos: God juggles obliviously as the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse prepare a new assault." - Aaron

And he wins the first free copy of my new video (which will be finished sometime this summer, if ever).

Runner up: The 'look dad a juggler' one. Classic.


Here are the entries:

"How many times do jugglers need to be told? A two ball flash is not impressive." - Wayne van Wijk

"Jamie Fletcher supports the Red Hot Chilli Peppers" - Wayne van Wijk

"The real reason that this act was banned from the IJA was later to be revealed - NO WHITE SOCKS." - Wayne van Wijk

"Although only a four club juggler, Luke was awarded extra points for his novelty prop stands." - Wayne van Wijk

"FLASH: one word, two meanings" - Wayne van Wijk

"One of the four space-explorers: "Yup, looks like Uranus to me" ... F*ck, that was cheap, but I'll have a go." - Jani Kyllonen

"Including Dave in the front, there are 5 Buttocks! " - Scott Seltzer

"Michael Portillo hides his disappointment at being eliminated from the Tory party leadership contest" - Mike W.

"Before They Were Famous No. 117: Boyzone" - Mike W.

"And now, the star of our show...Anthony Gaytto" - Mike W.

"And this one, your honour, shows Mr Barrymore earlier the same evening" - Mike W.

"All of a sudden the alcohol wore off, and then it hit home he was juggling 3 clubs on stage in a gay strip club... " - Tom

"Captain jap's eye and his 4 fishy friends" - Nicky

"As four men from the clairvoyant's convention had a closer look with their minds eye, Betty turned to Rose and commented "So it IS true that all men think with their dicks.." - Ewano

"The crack display team did their usual routine" - Nicky

"'They didn't tell me about this!' said Haggis..." - Ewano

"A nostalgic act taking us back to the days of the four ring circus." - Nicky

"LINDSAY!!!" - Nicky

"As they were stripped naked and tied to the back of the stage with thier props, the four poi swingers realised what a big mistake they had made." - Ewano

"How they laughed when Bill walked into the showers with his clothes on again..." - Ewano

"Ted squealed like a baby as the strings of his air guitar caught on his pubic hair..." - Ewano

"The crack team of elite mimes finally managed to gain the respect of the jugglers with their previously unseen "Pissing against the wind" act." - Ewano

"Let's do the Timewarp again!!" - Ewano

"Sun-worshippers celebrating the recent solstice and solar eclipse with a traditional pagan ceremony. F**k knows who the show-off in the front is, there's always one isn't there." - Gary

"As Antonio thrilled the audience by making his unique "Cone Base Pizza (tm)", the rest of the staff mocked him with their buttocks." - Ewano

"...and at the back of the stage NJA prepaired for their famous eight ball flash!" - Peter

"While a juggler worked to distract the panicking crowd, four brave volunteers rushed to extinguish the blazing inferno on stage with the only tools they had at hand." - Aaron

"The penalty for a poor Renegade performance at this year's BJC was rather more harsh than most performers expected." - Aaron

"NASA releases shocking new Hubble photos: God juggles obliviously as the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse prepare a new assault." - Aaron

"Once again, the N.J.A. took control over the convention" - Elias

"And now for the final trick! He's going to juggle three clubs and four sticks..." - Peter

"After months of trying, Luke finally manages to catch an 8 ball flash on camera." - John G.

"Happy Hour at Nigel Green's private joint" - Mark

"Look dad, a juggler!" - Elias

"Look dad, one club juggler and four contact jugglers!" - Elias

"The Long Lost Episode Of Dr. Who is finaly released on DVD and Via the WeB" - Nathan

(did anyone notice this page is just called "ball flash"?)


A few weeks ago I ran a competition. Here are the prizes the winner will be receiving:

A load of convention passes, the things I find in the bottom of my bag on the Monday morning after a weekend of juggling and drink. There's the BJC2001 pass with a bit of ribbon and my "fake pass" which was a cut up beer mat, the cd with my name written backwards with a bit of pink string from Durham, the colourful plastic thing from Cambridge and the half of the public show ticket I kept. I couldn't find the chopsticks from BOB2 (I think I lost them on the day) so instead I've included the London Convention ticket and the "mint" pass from Chocfest this year.

2001 Luke Burrage