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Worst Juggling Website Ever:
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I'm not sure why I bother writing about stuff like this...

I’m not really into destroying kid's aspirations and forever tainting their view of the juggling world but I feel obligated to bringing to your attention and pointing out some of the finer points of a website I just came across.

I received an email from someone who had just looked at the guest book on my website. I was informed that there was a new entry there and that I should check it out. I did. It went something like this:

Great site please visit mine

I thought I would check the site out, being a curious fellow and having way to much time on my hands. When I arrived at JuggleLand three things happened;

I went blind and I soiled my pants. The blindness was a result of the brightest background I’ve ever seen and the underwear incident was the result of me leaving the speakers on my pc turned up and being caught out unaware by the “welcome message”. I also lost my ability to count to three.

After the initial shock, I went on a mission to discover the reason I had received an email warning me about this website. Was it the soft porn displayed on the index page for no reason? Well, it could be, but the email was from a girl so I’d guess not. And there is much better porn elsewhere.

Was it the “TRICKS” section? Maybe it was. This page would fit nicely into the “Top Three Worst Ever Juggling Tutorials” chart with no problem. Just a quick example of the advice given:

“By now I'm sure you have caught on to the method to juggling any number of balls. If it is an odd number then you need half of the balls (rounded DOWN to the number below) in the air at all times. eg.

3 ball cascade = 1 ball in air,

5 ball cascade = 2 balls in air,

7 ball cascade = 3 balls in air.”

So, when I juggle 7 there is always 3 in the air, so with the 2 in each hand that would make... 5. Now, where do these other balls go? I must admit he did put a disclaimer on one page: “I cannot yet juggle even 3 clubs so expect some of this section to be less than accurate.”

Anyway, I’m not sure that is the reason I was at the page. Could it be the links page that has my site on it? I guess not.

Could it be the new discussion board where we can all “talk about juggling”? No, but another juggling discussion board is just what we all want.

Anyway, after this first quick look around the site, I thought I’d check out the movies to see this guy juggling. I was surprised to see that he was able to flash eleven balls so I clicked on it. Waiting for it to download I popped over to the website owner info page to see who the latest person to join the other four eleven ball jugglers in the world could be. Peter Whitmarsh aged thirteen.

I was just about to think malevolent thoughts about young, male, teenage jugglers and how they learn so quickly when I found: “Can juggle 4 ball fountain 3 ball mills mess and 7 ball passing”

Ok then, who’s that flashing 11 balls? I checked and it was none other than our own local Boppo. Back at the video page I looked down the list and found every video was a direct link to either videos on Bruce’s site or the JIS. I found this a bit strange as there was no indication of this or any credit given to the owners of the video. Still, I guessed he had asked and been given permission to use them.

After finding no original videos, I checked out the cartoons page. Once again, no original material there. Then I looked at the photo pages and what’s this? Not only are there no original photos but half of them are lifted directly from my website.

Now, I’ve put on my site that people are free to use any picture of mine if they ask nicely, give credit or whatnot and even if they don’t I’m generally not one to care. But this guy is just taking the piss. Has he never heard of copyright or even good manners? What is he... who does... wh...

Sorry, just getting slightly wound up for a minute there. It made me realise that he almost certainly didn’t ask for permission to use the rest of his site’s content either. I find this highly amusing when looking back at the “TRICKS” section and finding this note on the bottom of the page:

“All tricks are copywrited to JuggleLand so if you want to use them on your site email with your site address and I will consider it.”


It was with a heavy heart that I clicked on the “ANIMATIONS” page. Oh yes, there they were; the animations from my website that I’d spent, oh, minutes of my time creating from scratch. I was highly amused to see the “click here for an explanation” under them, directing you to the relevant pages on my website. But not a mention of where he got those or the other animations from.

To finish off my visit to the website I signed the guest book and submitted a vote on the front page. And I clicked to get a better view of the semi naked lady, but that’s another story.

I’d now like to inform you all that this page is another one of my humorous creations, that I put it all together as a parody of the websites like this that are actually real but I can’t tell you that because this website really is real. Oh well. I guess even a bad review will boost his web counter score and that’s probably the only reason he’s made the website.

To round up this review I’d like to give points for originality, download speed, clarity, and adherence to copyright law. The points are 4, 2, 3 and 1. These are points out of 500.

© 2001 Luke Burrage