nine ball flash
10 Things I Hate About Juggling
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A list posted to rec.juggling in a period of boredom.

1. Stage Lighting - Why is it that the lighting used to illuminate a juggling performance is either too dim so it is hard to photograph and makes it tricky for the juggler to see the balls, or so bright it gets in the eyes of the performers and makes it tricky for the juggler to see the balls?

2. Ball Jokes - “I’m having trouble with my ball control.” “It’s a phase we all go through.” Ha ha ha.

3. My Left Thumb - The target I aim the clubs thrown from my right hand at. I can hit it most times resulting in pain and discomfort.

4. Convention Passes - Annoying, useless things on bits of string. If I am given one of these it is never hung around my neck or tied to me in a comic way, just thrown in my bag or, at best. stuck in a pocket.

5. Eating The Apple - Also other juggling “tricks” involving no skill which audiences like better than real feats of juggling excellence.

6. Juggling in the Media - Juggling put into films as a cheap way of making a scene more dramatic. And the annoying way I focus on the juggling in the background rather than what the stars are doing/saying that might be important, films like Back to the Future III and Gladiator.

7. Thomas Löfqvist - For some reason I can never read his posts to rec.juggling.

8. The Wardrobe in my Bedroom - For the second time I just managed to smack it very hard with the back of my hand. This time it didn’t result in bleeding and swelling but the swelling and scab are still there from last time.

9. Jugglers Who Are Better Than Most And Rub It In Our Faces - I won’t name names but these jugglers are big headed and annoying. One kind keep their skills to themselves and don’t talk to or help anyone below their skill level. The other hand, C. Sutton gives advise at every opportunity but only because it is a way to boast about how he can already do it. Sorry, I wasn’t going to name names. B. Jennings. I did it again.

10. The Letter N - “If you can juggle n balls try n2 balls only when you can get n10 catches with n.” “A flash is n catches with n balls where a qualifying run is n2.” But then, I’m not a big fan of algebra.

© 2001 Luke Burrage