juggling stuff
"Veni, Vidi, Vomui."
- "I came, I saw, I threw up."
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The Romans were quite clever really. After successfully invading most of the known world they went on to invent many things: aqueducts, central heating, orgies and a whole load of useful items.

Then they came up with the most ingenious invention of all:

The Vomitorium

Yes, it's a place to go to throw up, hurl, spew, retch, puke, be sick, chunder, or any other name you can think of which can be even remotely associated with the process of vomiting.

I'll set the scene. Think of a banquet that doesn't last for five courses but five days. Or a whole month. Well, I wouldn't be able keep eating for days on end without stopping and apparently neither could the Romans.

Imagine if you will:

Claudius: Ah, Maximus, nice party.

Maximus: Thank you. Um, you look a bit green.

Claudius: I think I ate something that didn't agree with me.

Maximus: What could that have been?

Claudius: Maybe that stuffed flamingo I ate IV days ago...

Maximus: Are you sure?

Claudius: Urgh.... urgh....

Maximus: If you're going to be sick, make sure you get to the toilet before you are.

Claudius covers his mouth and exits left running.

Maximus: No! That's not the bathroom, that's my office!

Cluadius (from off stage): Sorry, too late.

Maximus: Oh, for Jupiter's sake...

Gaius: Oh, is that where the bathroom is? I've been going to the other one off the court yard... (exits stage left)

Maximus: No! That's my office, not the bathroom.

Gaius (from off stage): Sorry, I couldn't keep it in.

Maximus: Oh for Juno's sake.....

Julius: Ah, is that where you go to be sick is it?

Maximus: No, that's not the bathroom, that's my...

Julius: Your what?

Maximus: Um, it's my vomit room.

Julius: Hey, good idea. (exits stage left)

Maximus: Oh, for Pluto's sake...

The Vomitorium is born.

It's no wonder the Romans had a dedicated room from vomiting, some of the their recipes were a bit on the vomit inducing side...

  • Take some fish intestines and gills, fish juice and blood, add dried herbs such as coriander, oregano and mint, making a layer on the bottom of the container.
  • Follow with a layer of fish then a layer of salt two fingers high.
  • Repeat these three layers until the container is filled.
  • Let it rest for vii days in the sun.
  • Mix the sauce daily for xx days. After that time it becomes a liquid.
  • Serve with either boiled veal and honey, sea mussels and wine, fish goulash or green beans and chicken.
  • Yummy.

Anyway, I've not seen a vomit room on the internet before so I thought I'd set up the very first Virtual Vomitoriom. I'll update this page with more vomitorium related stuff soon, which means I probably wont.

© 1998 Luke Burrage