0. These terms and conditions will change, be added to or removed on a whim by Luke. That means if you get caught out by a term that changes without notice it's your fault, you've just been warned. Get used to it.
1. Luke Burrage reserves the right to crash at your house if he's ever in your area and needs someplace to sleep. This happens more often then you would think. He slept a night in York Railway Station the other day.
2. If Luke Burrage asks you for your details, credit card numbers and online banking passwords, you MUST give them to him.
3. If at any point you feel like you want to laugh out load you must first send a cheque of £0.27p made payable to Luke Burrage to the address at the bottom of this page.
5. You MUST NOT point out to anyone that term 4 is missing. You could even be taken to court if you are caught thinking it, but Luke Burrage has no way to prove it.
6. If at anytime in the near future you start sleeping with Luke Burrage's girlfriend, could you please tell him what she looks like, because he has often wondered.
7. In light of recent developments, Luke Burrage's corporate sponsorship by Anne Summers will be suspended. This does not affect you in any way.
8. Luke Burrage reserves the right to stop anyone you might know in the street and ask for a light. He doesn't smoke, but he likes to take advantage of people's generosity.
9. Luke Burrage's thing on the net is not to be tampered with. The only vandalism allowed is to spray messages about yourself in Flame or Ochre Red. To do this aply the paint directly onto your screen.
10. Luke Burrage will be in no way responsible for damage to computer monitors.
11. Or web-tv's
12. Or laptops for that matter.
13. Um, that's it.
14. And Luke Burrage wasn't joking about the crashing at your home either. He might have a problem finding it but when he arrives on your doorstep you will powerless in the eyes of the law to stop him.
Enjoy your visit.